Have you ever been in a situation in life where you weren't happy with where you were at – but you somehow couldn't get up the motivation to change? I don't mean cases where there are good reasons （such as financial ones） to hold back from change, but when there's not really anything stopping you except yourself.

    Here are a few, very very common, examples of where you might be stuck.

    * You smoke. You want to quit for the sake of your health and your wallet, but every morning, you light up before breakfast.

    * You're currently in college, and you know you'd perform better if only you could get up earlier … but despite repeated resolutions, you rarely make it out of bed before noon.

    * You're a hundred pounds overweight. You'd love to be thinner – with more energy and more choices of where to buy clothes – but your diets never last past Monday.

    * You've had the same, dull, "temporary" job since you got out of college. You know you'll never enjoy it or get any further with it, but every time you think about moving on, you feel paralysed

    * You know you drink too much – but you can't face the thought of a weekend without alcohol.

    The difficulty is that, in almost any situation, there's some good stuff （even when it comes at a cost）. However fed up you are about your smoking, your weight or your job, there are reasons why you've not yet done anything about it – and if you're ever going to change, you need to consider and confront these reasons.

    As you read on, I'd like you to have in mind a situation in your own life where you want to change but can't seem to ever get around to it. Maybe you want to start your own business, improve your health, leave an unfulfilling relationship, or learn something new. Think about this as you read the next few paragraphs, and consider how they might apply to your specific circumstances.

    Ask Yourself … What's Good About My Current Situation?

    A crucial question to ask – and to answer honestly – is "what's good about my current situation"? Don't dismiss this by saying "nothing", because there always will be something, even if it's simply the comfort and familiarity of routine. In many cases, the pull will be much stronger.

    Don't dismiss "stupid" reasons, too. These are often the unacknowledged ones which we need to recognize in order to move beyond them.

    To make this a bit clearer, I'll take the example of someone who's currently overweight. The "good stuff" about the current situation could include:

    * Being able to eat favourite foods like candy and chips

    * Having a wardrobe of clothes that fits （losing weight would mean buying clothes in a different size）

    * Fitting in with friends and family who are also overweight

    * Sticking to a comfortable routine with grocery shopping and meals

    * Having an identity based on being "big" （perhaps more common for men）

    * Not having to worry about being an object of sexual desire （probably more common for women）

    * Not needing to find time and energy to exercise

    Some of these reasons might seem a bit silly or odd – but they're all reasons why people can find themselves struggling to even get started on a diet.

    If you want to dig into the reasons behind your own reluctance to change, you might find that some of these help:

    Talk to a Friend or Coach

    Talking your situation through with a trusted friend can help, as simply putting things into words can get you thinking about them. A coach （or even a therapist） will have the training and skills to help you uncover motivations and blocks that could go back a long way.

    Ask Yourself Questions

    If you don't have anyone who you can confide in, try talking to yourself! Some powerful questions to explore why you haven't changed yet include:

    * What do I enjoy about （smoking/my weight/my job）? Note: this may be where reasons that you label as "silly" or insignificant come in, like "I enjoy having an excuse to take a break from work for a cigarette". Don't ignore these!

    * How would my day or week be different if I did successfully implement this change? Be as specific as possible here.

    * What would I have to give up from my current life?

    Journal About It

    As a writer, I find that working through my thoughts with pen and paper （or keyboard and screen） is a great way to clarify how I'm feeling. It's also a good way to focus, if you often find your thoughts wandering when you try to simply think through a situation.

    Give yourself at least fifteen minutes to sit down, with no distractions, and write some answers to the questions above – or simply brainstorm around the topic of "quitting smoking" or "leaving my job" etc.

    My feeling is that we often underestimate or ignore the mental barriers that we have towards change. It's easy to find external circumstances （like finances, family, lack of necessary qualifications） that are holding us back, but hard to pin-point these internal ones. If you've experienced times where the "good stuff" in an otherwise bad situation was holding you back from change, or if you're going through something like that at the moment, it would be fantastic to hear your own experiences in the comments.

    About the author: Ali is a postgraduate student and professional writer. She runs Alpha Student （grab the RSS feed）, a blog which aims to help students get the most of their time at university.

    你是否對現(xiàn)在的處境頗為不滿，整天郁郁寡歡卻無力改變？我不是說那些阻止你改變的好的方面（比如資金等）,事實(shí)上，阻擋你的攔路虎正是你自己。

    以下是可能讓你裹足不前的再普通不過的例子：

    * 你抽煙。為了健康和省錢起見，你想戒煙。但是每天早起之后還是在飯前不自覺的點(diǎn)上一根。

    * 你現(xiàn)在在大學(xué)求學(xué)，你也知道只要早起的話一定會給功課和表現(xiàn)加分… 但是，說了無數(shù)遍的豪言壯語后，你還是照睡到日上三竿。

    * 你可能有些體重問題，想變的苗條些 - 這樣人看起來精神，買衣服也不用愁。但，節(jié)食計劃總不能幸存到周一。

    * 畢業(yè)后，一直從事一成不變的工作，你知道這工作永遠(yuǎn)也讓你提不起興趣，再這樣下去根本沒有前途可言，但是當(dāng)你真的想更上一層樓時卻又缺乏動力。

    * 你知道自己酗酒不好，但是卻無法想象要是沒有酒精的陪伴，那周末是多么的可怕。

    所有的情形中的癥結(jié)就是，你可以從中得到好處。（即使這樣的"好處"是要付出代價的）盡管你的嗜煙問題，你的體重和工作困擾著你，但這其中總有讓你對這些問題束手無策的原因 - 如果你一旦想做出改變，那么你必須考慮并且面對這些原因。

    接下來，我想讓你設(shè)想這樣的情境 - 你想做出一定的改變，但似乎又無法達(dá)到�；蛟S你想自主創(chuàng)業(yè)，變得更健康，從一段空虛的感情中解脫，或?qū)W一些新知識。好了，在繼續(xù)往下看這篇文章的時候，腦子里想象這樣的情景，并且想想如何用它們來解決你的問題。

    自問…我現(xiàn)在的狀況有什么好的？

    這是個至關(guān)重要的問題 - 問問自己，然后老實(shí)的回答 - "我的現(xiàn)狀有什么好的？"不要用"沒什么"這樣的話來搪塞，因?yàn)榭傆行┖玫姆矫�，即使它們簡單又老套。多�?shù)情況下，內(nèi)因是很強(qiáng)大的。

    也別想些"愚蠢"的原因來。因?yàn)檫@些原因我們并不熟悉，還得花時間來重新認(rèn)識它們，才能得以超越。

    為了說的明白些，我就舉一些有體重問題人士的例子吧。在現(xiàn)在的情形下，個中的好處有：

    * 可以享受喜愛的食物如糖果和薯片

    * 有一衣柜合身的衣服（如果減肥了就得重新置辦新衣）

    * 與身處同樣情況的（超重）家人或朋友看起來很合拍

    * 在現(xiàn)在的購物習(xí)慣和飲食中如魚得水

    * 已經(jīng)有了大塊頭的身份（多用于男性）

    * 不用擔(dān)心自己成為讓人動邪念的對象（多用于女性）

    * 不用費(fèi)心安排時間鍛煉

    這些原因可能有些傻或者奇怪，但這確是讓人安于現(xiàn)狀，在節(jié)食上掙扎，久久瘦不下來的原因。

    如果你想挖掘出自己懶于改變的原因，那么下面的幾點(diǎn)或許有幫助：

    和朋友或教練談話

    跟一個可信賴的朋友說說自己的情況，把事情說出來會幫助你思考。一個有訓(xùn)練經(jīng)驗(yàn)和技能的教練（或醫(yī)師）也能幫你找出動因以及妨礙你前進(jìn)的絆腳石。

    問自己問題

    如果你找不到人傾訴，那就問自己問題。以下是幾個有效的問題，能幫你找出安于現(xiàn)狀的原因：

    * 我從（抽煙/超重/無聊的工作）中享受到的是什么？ 注意：這些原因可能就是你認(rèn)為"蠢的"或不上臺面的原因，像"我可以借口抽煙在工作的時候偷點(diǎn)閑".千萬別忽視這樣的原因。

    * 如果我能改變一天或一周，會有怎樣的不同？此處，要想出具體的情況，越詳細(xì)越好。

    * 如果改變了，我將從現(xiàn)在的生活中失去什么？

    有感

    作為作者，我覺得通過紙筆（或鍵盤和顯示器）把思想表達(dá)出來能讓我知悉自己的感覺。同樣，當(dāng)你思考思想活躍時，這也是集中精力的好辦法。

    給自己留出至少十五分鐘的時間，靜靜的坐下來，別分心，把上述問題的答案寫下來 - 或僅僅是暢想關(guān)于"戒煙"或"跳槽"的話題。

    我的感覺是人們通常低估或忽略妨礙他們做出改變的精神因素，但卻很容易找出阻礙他們的外界因素（比如，資金，家庭，缺少資歷等）.如果你曾一度醉心那些所謂的"好處",并且正是它們讓你難以做出改變，或者你曾經(jīng)試圖克服類似艱難的時期，那么歡迎與大家分享。